I revel in my alone time, it’s the only time I have complete control.
I realize how important it is to have time to myself and unfortunately, for the most part it’s not voluntary. I live on my own and I spend most of the days at home while everyone else is at work.
Weekends throw me off (especially long ones) because I adapt quickly to being with someone all day. My weekend started Wednesday night, before Thanksgiving. I met with my friends and spent the night out. When I woke up in the morning, I showered and spent the entire day with my love. This is probably the hardest since it never really feels like enough time, and leaving him after a few days is especially difficult.
It’s easy to get caught up in relationships and pulling away after a few days can throw you off. I have some methods I use in order to ‘come home to myself’. Being comfortable with being alone plays a big role in self love.
wash the day off
Sometimes you learn lessons from people who didn’t even mean to teach you them. One strange lesson I’ve learned is how important a shower can be. Not your every day hygiene shower; to just let yourself sit in scorching hot water and wash everything off. Girls, wash your hair too. Trust me, it really lifts a weight. There’s something about feeling like you’ve let it all off and down the drain.
Light a candle, turn the heat up, put your favorite sweater on. Make yourself a cup of tea or coffee, cover your toes with your softest socks. Let yourself get warm all the way to the core.
There’s something about being warm that will comfort your mind. Follow the warmth.
reset your thoughts
For me, it’s writing. For you it might be reading, or drawing, or cooking. Maybe it’s going for a run, or speaking to your mom. Maybe for me it’s a combination of things.
My journal is like a huge brain space for me to scribble or write to myself. Sometime’s it’s structured. Most of the time it’s messy. It’s really a blank canvas, or a drawing board-
create a re-charge zone
In one of my favorite self-growth books, Pretty Happy by Kate Hudson, she has this concept that I love. It’s a ‘Drawing Board’ and you can interpret that however you see fit. It can be just a notes in your phone, or a physical journal like mine. It can be a bulletin board, or a folder. A drawing board is meant to be as honest and open as possible – that way you can revisit and see how you felt that day. You can write about the foods you ate, or the places you visited. People you spoke to, argued with. It’s important to look back and see why those things made you feel that way.
The best part of all of this, is that there’s no right or wrong way. Create a quiet space in your mind for yourself. Somewhere safe that you can visit even when you’re around others. The more control you have over this space, the easier it will be to return. The time you have for yourself will only intensify the time you spend with others you love.
“Real loneliness is not necessarily limited to when you are alone.”